Well let me tell you about me. I am in my late 30's(Ladies don't tell there age). Well growing up I realize that I was not like most kids. I liked to play with Barbies and baby dolls, but was not aloud. My stepdad would always tell me "Son you are a man, you need to play baseball,football and things like that".
Let me take you back to the first time that I started to were my mom's clothes. She would go out a lot and leave my home alone so I would go in her room and put on some of her clothes. My mom was, and is a very nice looking lady. She had some very nice clothes.I would go and put make up on and walk around the house. At the time I was 10 or 11. Well that all stop when she got married to my stepdad. Until one day when my mom came home from her friends house with some hand me downs. Most of the clothes were boy clothes but there where a pair of slacks and a blouse in with the clothes. I love the way the slacks and blouse looked and felt on me. I wanted to look more like a girl, even more now. My stepdad told me that I need to act more like man, so I went in hiding on my wearing of my girl clothes. Until when I was 14 and my parents went away for the weekend and they told me that I was grown up enough to stay home by myself (cool I thought to myself). As soon as they left I went upstairs and got out my clothes and went in there room and got a Bra and a pair of panties from my moms dresser. I stuffed the Bra with socks to look like I had breasts. Girl I looked and felt great about myself. I stayed that way up until they came home. After that I had not to many chances to get dress up again. My stepdad always wanted me to play sports and be a boy, what a drag. I started to do boy things with him. I hated doing those things, but one thing I still enjoy it today and that is fishing. At the age of 16 I got another chance to get dressed up, and to be happy about me. This time I went a lot further then when I was 14. I put on make up and then went for a drive around the block. Which is not no city block. We lived out in the country so it was a far drive. I loved it again, I was Veronika. When the weekend was over I went back to being a boy that everyone loved. This time I said to myself that I would stop doing this. I am a man and men do not dress in womens clothes and that is how I was born.I love girls and don't like men at all. I got married to my frist wife. This voice inside of me keep on saying try her clothes on and be the happy young lady you are. Well I started to wear her clothes and then one day she came home and seen me dressed in her clothes and she loved it. Well I told her that I would love to have breast. She found some foam ones in a book and ordered them. I thought that life was great Veronika is back. One day she came home and told me to stop. Oh I am getting a head of myself lets go back a step. The foam breast were ok but I wanted real ones. One day I showed her this picture of a shemale, and told her that is how I wanted to look. I told her that I wanted to get on hormones. She got real mad. Then one day she came home and told me to stop so I did. that is when Ron started to hate her. We started to fight a lot, it seemed like everyday for the next few years. Well we finally got divorced. I moved back to Ohio where I grow up and started my life over. I told myself that this is not going to go on anymore.I had girlfriends here and there. My drinking and druging got bad, but I thought that I was having the time of my life. Then one day all high on crack I went downstairs on got a bag of womens clothes and went upstairs to my room and got dressed up. I got high some more and then passed out from drinking so much. Here I am no ones home and I am all dress up. I lived with this biker type guy and his kid. Tom he is a straight guy and so am I. Well he came home and seen me and woke me up and asked me if I would give him some head. It is funny how the world Clasifies people for the way that they are. I told him that I was not gay just different. I also told him that I will not ever dress this way again. The drinking and druging got worse. You see I had my own bussiness in Cleveland, Ohio. The crack was taking over my life. My bussiness was failing. I started to sell my tools to do my drugs that were keeping me happy. Because I was being everything that the world wanted me to be a man and that is what my family wanted as well. My bussines finally went under. I left Cleveland and come to Florida. I was still drinking, and I guit crack. The drinking has increased. I stoped for awhile because I started to wear Veronika's clothes again. Well I had a hard time paying my bills so I asked this Guy to move in with me and he did. The drinking and druging started up again but not smoking crack, just pot. It got real bad I was smoking about $300.00 to $400.00 a week on pot and about $600.00 on beer. That is alot to me. As my luck has it I got stoped by the cops and got a DUI. I was put on probation and lost my license for a year. I had to drive to work without a license. Well I got stopped by a cop for a cracked windshield. I went to jail for no drivers license, a good thing was that I was not drinking. Well I told my probation officer that I was a rested for driving without a license and she violated me. I went back to jail for three months. You know this all might of been avioded if people would just let people be people. I'm not saying that about my DUI, I'm saying maybe I might not of gotten one if the world looked at everyone with open minds (myself included). Now I am out of jail, and I have made up my mind to live my life the way that I choose. I'm dressing in womens clothes part time at this point.I am doing reseach on going on hormones. Which ones are better for me Herbas or Permarin. Well Herbas are better for your body but you get more out of using Permarin. The only thing is you need to go to a Doctor for them. I met this very classy lady, and fine looking as well. She was telling me about her boyfriend that she used to live with and how he like to wear her panties. Now she dose not know about me being a Transgender person yet. I told her "What is this guy a weirdo or something?". Well one day she asked me if I would wear her panties and with some reluctants I said yes. She told me that I look great in them. Then I told her about me and how I wanted to have breast and live as a female. She was very much into me being me. At first I went on herbal hormones and then we choose to go on Permarin. We got married, and we are still together today. It has been a hard road to get to where I am today but my breast are growing and I can not hide they way I am any longer. We both agree that it is time to come out to the world. I have a step son who is having a hard time with it, but we talk alot about how I will stil be his stepdad. When he needs a dad to do things with, I will be there for him. I will dress in mens clothes. I will live and work as a women until he needs the man. What I have told him is not to hide me just accept me.Well this is a update I have come out of the house to the world on 12/14/2001. Just not to my family up north yet. Wish me luck on that, God knows I will need it.
